the blaze of you who live wholly.

i am drawn here…
not to see you or you or you,
but to light my fire
at the general blaze of you,
who live wholly,
indivisibly & without caring in the moment.
to light my fire.
V. Woolf The Waves

woah, and again another week is gone.

but eventful for sure, i cant put my finger on the exact moment when i started to feel like part of the family,
maybe it was after our adventure to Enchanted Kingdom (the Filipino version of an outdated Disneyland)
with the teenagers who forced me to ride on the Rio Grande and walk around for five hours with wet clothes, or when we road the “Space Shuttle” and i thought for sure i was going to throw up, pass out or pee in my pants at any given moment.

but they thought it was hilarious.

today has been a long day.

since its monday, i GET to wake up at 4 am to cook breakfast with Nanay Susan.
Today we had to cook 60 pancakes, 60 fried chicken nuggets and 60 slices of fried ham (for breakfast). nanay put me in charge of pancakes, but i have to confess i got my cooking skills from my mom, (sorry mom) so i am not a gourmet cook to say the least, and my cooking skills can be summed up in three items:

1) macoroni and cheese the box kind
2) hot dogs
3) macoroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. (dont knock it till you try it).

we had to have the pancakes done by 6 am, and by 5:45 i had a grand total of five done.
well nine if you count the unedible ones.

nanay susan took over the pancakes, and i got to fry the ham and the oil kept popping up and hitting me in the face. i actually started to cry i was so frusturated. or maybe it was just the heat of the grease hitting my face that made my eyes water.

when we finished, i went upstairs to lay down for a half an hour before work, and i couldnt sleep b.c. i smelled like fried ham, but i couldnt take a shower because i locked myself out of my bathroom saturday night. and this was all before 7 am.

and again Henri Nouwen comes to my rescue.

“Quite often we will discover that we are
asked to follow our Lord to places we would rather not go, “
(the kitchen, rio del grande and fried ham for me)
but when we have learned to see him in the small displacements
of our daily lives,
the greater call will not seem so great after all.
We then will find the courage to follow him and be amazed by our freedom to do so.”

i miss you.