Categories
Uncategorized

love?



after reading over the cases i will be handling i realized that love here is not taken lightly.
Love here requires acceptance for faults, understanding, patience, and a lot of forgiveness.

” Our world is full of people who question wether it would’ve been better had they not been born. When we do not feel loved by those who gave us life, we often suffer our whole life long…in the midst of this extremely painful reality, we have to dare to reclaim the truth that we are God’s chosen Ones, even when Our world does not choose us.”
– Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved (pg. 57).

some of these kids have been to hell and back before their 6th birthday and they give away their love so willingly
but they do not say they “love” pizza, or “love” music, love is reserved for their growing families.

Categories
Uncategorized

Magandang Omaga!


Well…I made it, i am finally here.

After a 14 hour flight, i arrived in Manila at 4 am and was picked up by Deanna , Raymond and Edna who all work at the orphanage. By about 6 am we had arrived at My Father’s House in Las Pinas City in Metro Manila…

the kids were already up and had been since 4:30 am (which i am slowly realizing is the normal wake up time around here)
theytook me on a tour of the facilities which accomdates 61 children and includes a girl’s dorm (where i live) a boy’s dorm and a toddler’s room, as well as an office, two class rooms, a basketball hoop, a swimming pool and one scary life size clown.

they let me rest for a while and i sat in my bed trying to relax but my heart was beating one million times a minute, so i just sat absorbing the different scents of the home which will, comfortingly enough, become familiar to me:

Children singing, laughing, yelling, crying, dancing, running up and down the stairs were all mixed in with the smells of freshly cooked rice, onions and laundry detergent.

Outside it was already hot and humid and i was sweating before 7 am, later in the morning they took me to a welcoming party,

where they had made me a full armor of God, created from colorful construction paper of course, complete with white bath slippers with pink cardboard hearts stapled to them.

They recited scripture verses in English, sang songs and danced and danced and danced. they love dancing i think they would have continued all day dancing if they could. the littlest children are so loving and bashful, some came and hugged me, while others just came very close to me waiting for me to hug them and then they didn’t want to let go.

“Hello At-ay Jessica” (Big Sister Jessica)they kept saying already chattering non stop to me in Tagalog, touching my “yellow” hair and white skin, and pointing at my noise ring. (my tattoos were thankfully covered) What are your Special talents At-ay Jess? and when I told them I didn’t know they looked at me seriously and said, “well, everyone has special talents, they just need to be revealed.” i laughed to my self at that thinking that someone has been speaking postively into their lives and it showed.

Anthony, who is the youngest at barely three years old, and the newest to the house always wants to be held. His eyes are swollen and he has bumps, bruises and scares all over his tiny little body. later i learned him and his two sisters were products of incest. their father is also their grandfather.

the older kids, especially the teenage girls were much more reserved and looked questiongly at me. i dont blame them. the lives they have lived by the time they turn 13 are more than anything i could comprehend. i am just a privileged American girl who has the ability to return to my preciously prepared save haven in the States in just a couple of months.

After a while i rode with raymond and des to drop some of the teenagers at dance practice at their schools across town, and they pointed out to me the brightly colored jeepnies, which are their extravagantly decorated van taxis, and their tri-cycles, which are motorized bikes with a flimsy side car attachment. after we dropped off the kids and headed back to My Father’s House, i sat in the back of the car looking out the window at the people selling homemade potholders,live native chickens and perfumed roses.

…they put on a Filipino Christmas Cd, and I sat listening to them hum along to “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,” and i smiled at myself as wiped the mounting pile of sweat from my forehead and back.

somehow, i felt right at home.

it had already been the longest day i ever had, and it wasnt even noon.

Categories
Uncategorized

‘Dreams into nightmares’

Slavery still exists. And it affects people of all different races and genders.
This new form of slavery exists in the rapid growing sex trade industry.
Young girls and sometimes boys, are sold by desperate parents, hoping to provide a better life for their family by sending them to America. They sell their children under false pre-tenses that they will “work” legally, instead they are implanted into a life that they least expected.

“Human traffickers profit by turning dreams into nightmares,”
said Michael Garcia, U.S. attorney in Manhattan, where the
majority of the traffickers face prosecution. “These women
sought a better life in America and found instead forced prostitution
and misery.”

Last week in New York over 20 raids in the Northeast uncovered over 70 sex-slaves in New York. They were illegal aliens AND U.S. citizens.

“It’s a very overwhelming subject for a lot of people to recognize
that there is slavery at this time in our country,” said Carole Angel,
staff attorney with the Immigrant Women Program of the women’s
rights advocacy group Legal Momentum in Washington. “It’s hard
for us as humans to contemplate what this means.”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13415620/

The study concluded prostitution and sex services accounted for 46 percent of the documented forced labor.
The estimated number of sex-traffickers and slaves is a difficult one to put a finger on. Most estimates are on the lower side of the percentage because it is difficult to truly discover all of the illegal trafficking businesses going on around the world.

According to the 2005 report, 600,000 to 800,000 people are trafficked across international borders each year, with 14,500 to 17,500 trafficked into the U.S. The report does not provide data on sexual exploitation specifically; the numbers include people trafficked for any sort of forced labor. (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/slaves/etc/stats.html)

For further information:
+ “The Natasha Trade: Transnational Sex Trafficking”Overview of trafficking of women from Ukraine by Prof. Donna Hughes. (National Institute of Justice Journal , January, 2001)

Categories
Uncategorized

Manila vanilla.


so it looks like i am going to the phillipines instead of argentina. there is an orphanage in manila called “My Father’s House” that takes in street children

i am nervous…it is on the opposite side of the world, i know no one, and not a single word of Tagalog or any of the 170 other dialects spoken there.

i think this is where i am supposed to go. i believe God wants me to go there , i know it wont be easy but it is what i need, every time i have doubts as to where i am supposed to be or if i have enough strength to make it through a situation.. God always reveals a hidden strength in myself that i didnt know existed.

i think im just tired of talking about doing something all the time, and im ready to actually do it. and now that it is really happening it scares me.

in the mean time im working at starbucks waking up some days as early at 4:30 am (aka my old bedtime)
and slowly becoming re-addicted to coffee. (’tis a hard life i lead)
yesterday i had seven shots of espresso, and needless to say, the sleeping is not going well.

Categories
Uncategorized

praha.


i am back from prague.
it was an uplifting and renewing experience, that i badly needed.

i spent a good majority of my time shoveling cow crap, hay and dirt, laying brick and painting to clean the old farm property for the Czech teen challenge group.

i would wake up most mornings by 5 am (the sun is up at 4:30am there) have a cup of coffee and walk to the neighboring village and back before breakfast. i wrote in my journal that i felt like i was living in a dream most of the time. and even though i : wasnt getting hardly as much sleep as i was used to, working 12 hours a day, having my own body odor trailing me all day long, sharing one shower stall with 20 women, being the youngest person by close to 20 years and sleeping in a room with no air-conditioning…

i honestly havent been more at peace and more content in a long long time. God works in mysterious ways, He always pushes me further than i could ever go by myself.

so many amazingly good things happened that i dont know where i would start describing them and if it would ever end,
but mostly the experiences i had, have no words for them and if i try to explain them i wouldnt be doing them any justice, so i am happy enough to remember how i felt when i was there and just try to hold on to that.

i know that i am not sure about alot of decisions i make in my life. heck, i have a hard time trying to decide what i am going to wear or what i am going to eat, let alone making decisions that can be life altering, but i really feel that one day i will end up back there, somewhere anywhere overseas…i feel most alive and at peace there. the small day to day anxieties that consume my every day thoughts here are no longer important.

Categories
Uncategorized

so much is in bud.


“From too much love of living
hope and desire are set free,
even the weariest river
winds somewhere to the sea-

surely our river
cannot already be hastening
into the sea of nonbeing?
surely it cannot drag, in the silt
all that is innocent?
not yet, not yet- there is too much borken
that must be mended,

too much hurt we have done to each other
that cannot yet be forgiven.

we have only begun to know the power that is in us if we would join
our solitudes in the communion of struggle.

So much is unfolding that must complete its gesture,

so much is in bud.
-Denise Levertov.

Categories
Uncategorized

the greatest kind of poverty.


( picture of my friend from Boiro Spain, a former heroine addict, whose been clean for four years and just got married to his long time girlfriend, also a former addict, who now have dedicated their lives to helping others overcome addictions)

We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty. Mother Teresa

i think it is easier for me to dream big, thinking about far off places and people who are in need of love and in the mean time forget about those who are in my life on a daily basis. While my friends, family, colleagues (if i had a job 🙂 ) the lady who bags my groceries, or the guy i cut off on the tollway are forced to deal with the me that isnt always “there.”

there is a homeless man that is often in downtown naperville, rain or shine, sleet or snow, he is most likely to be found sitting on a bench in full view of anyone walking in downtown naperville, and while i talk talk talk so much about wanting to help others, i cant think of one time that i have sat down and talked to him….

just a thought. how can i say helping/loving/ and caring for people is what i want to do with my life and yet i forget to extend those graces to the people that are surrounding me?

“Forget regret,
or Life is your’s to miss.”

p.s. check out Peter’s amazing photographs from his recent month long trip to Ecuador…they are very inspiring.
http://www.sportsshooter.com/members.html?id=5557

Categories
Uncategorized

check yo self before you wreck yo self.


wow. its been along time. im back at home (in Illinois) living with the fam, looking for a job so i can move out and move on 🙂 my plans for living in Buenos Aires Argentina and interning at an orphange there for the summer got moved to september, so im going kind of crazy…feeling like im stuck, not able to move forward or backwards…i hate waiting periods..but anyways…..

the south central LA urban farm failed to reach their goal of raising the 16.3 million dollars required to keep them from bulldozing their 14 acre farm land that helps sustain almost 350 families. in its place, plans are to build a warehouse. an eviction notice has been ordered as of May 24th, but has yet to be carried out…if your in the area (wish i was) and at all concerned about the situation with the urban farm, you should check it out, OR go to www.southcentralfarmers.org, to see what you can do by donating your time or money. every little bit helps. gracias.

We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect.
– Aldo Leopold

Categories
Uncategorized

forgot to pay the electricity bill


yesterday our electricity got turned off. we forgot to pay our electricity bill, and somehow failed to open the final notices, and well..whadya know, they actually WILL turn off your electricity if you don’t pay your bill 🙂

it was an extremely awakening experiencing, i’ve spent this entire semester writting, researching and getting to know the homeless community but I have never once had to experience what they go through on a daily basis (and also i know that going without electricity for one day is in no way comparable to living without shelter every day)…it was a major inconvenience. all of our food was ruined, and we spent over 50 dollars on buying candles and flashlights. Once the sun went down, i felt incapable of accomplishing anything.

What was I going to do without my t.v.? internet? light? alarm clock? all of these things that I took for granted suddenly became indespensible to me.

In The Working Poor, David Shipler tells the stories of the working poor of America, who live on the edge of poverty every day. All it takes is: one trip to the doctor, one broken down car, one lay off for millions of Americans to end up on the streets.

I know I will never know what it feels like to live on the edge, scared of evicition and lay offs, which means fininacial doom for their families…

I must remain aware that this is happening, it is so easy to ignore those being oppressed when I don’t have to make it my problem. Anyways, im rambling now, but basically what I am saying is that:

having good intentions isnt enough. We (those with privilege) have to be willing to give of our selves and give up some of our comfort in order that others might have a chance.

“The mystery of poverty is that by sharing in it, making ourselves poor in giving to others, we increase our knowledge of and belief in love.” Jim Wallis “Soul of Politics”(191)

sorry it has been so long.

Categories
Uncategorized

South Central LA

I ran into a concerned friend at school today who handed me a flier with an urgent request—-

“Over 350 low income families living in one of the poorest areas of the country have created a space to gor food, let children play and learn and create a sense of community out of a concrete jungle. Now, after 14 years, they are being told to leave to make room for another warehouse, They could be evicted as early as Monday March 27. This space belongs to the people of S. Central L.A…They need your support!

Here is what you can do!
Call the Mayor/City Council Right Now

Concentrate calls to city officials between 10am and 11 am every day (or any other free time you might have) All at once so we can clog their phones! Ask that they 1) stop the eviction of the S. Central Farmers, 2) Hold a Pulic meeting and official investigation addressing the back-room sale of the farm to a private developer without communal approval.

Mayor Villaraigosa- 213-978-0600
Councilwoman Jan Perry- 213- 473- 7009

also, for those in LA city area there is a demonstration this friday (3/24) at 8 a.m demonstration at L.A. City Hall

for more information visit: www.Myspace.com/APUstudentsforscf
or www.SouthCentralfarmers.com

or email me or APU student Daniel French @ Frenchtoast2020@yahoo.com

thanks again & blessings

email me at jaross@apu.edu, with any questions also

Categories
Uncategorized

“Stubborn Ounces”

Stubborn Ounces (To One Who Doubts the Worth of Doing Anything If You Can’t Do Anything)

You say the little efforts that I make
will do no good; they will never prevail
to tip the hovering scale
where Justice hangs in the balance
I don’t think
I ever thought they would.
But I am prejudiced beyond debate
In favor of my right to choose which side
shall feel the stubborn ounces of my weight.
– Bonaro Overstreet

“the myth of no effect obscures the role we can play in the long term transformation of society…We may cling to the belief that there is nothing we can do precisely because we subconsciously know how much power we do have and are afraid to use it because people may not like it. If we deny our power to affect people, then we don’t have to worry about taking responsiblity for how we use it or, more significant, how we dont…Our silence then, isn’t because nothing we do will matter. Our silence is our not daring to matter.”
-(Alan G. Johnson) “Privilege, Power and Difference”

I just re-read this section in Privilege Power and Difference by Alan G. Johnson and found comfort in it. It is one of the best books I’ve read that deals with oppression in society. If you are looking for somethin’ to read (like we don’t have enough to do right now 😉 ) and are interested…let me know, I have a couple copies laying around….

P.S. Today is WORLD WATER DAY! WoooOoooooOo….. A “day” that was established in 1992 United Nations Conference on Environment and Development (UNCED) in Rio de Janeiro to raise awareness of the lack of clean water throughout the world. Clean water is essential in order to alleviate hunger, disease and poverty, for sustainable development, for environmental integrity, and for human health…

http://www.worldwaterday.org/page/107

this site is very resourceful, with links to sites with useful information on getting clean water to places that need it the most.

thanks for reading…

Categories
Uncategorized

The paradox of our time

A friend said he was reminded of this passage when he read the previous blog and it is an accurate definition of the modern American lifestyle, so I thought I would post it:

“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers…We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness….We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We’ve done larger things, but not better things…We write more, but learn less….These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.”
– George Carlin (emphasis added)


A close friend and co-founder of Cobriel Foundation is raising money for International Impact in Ecuador by selling prints of his amazing photographs from his visit to Mexico…Check ’em out… (the pic. above is 1 of the photographs for sale on the site)

http://www.phphoto.net/Gallery1/

prices are still to be set the photographer, if you are at all interested or have any questions shoot him an email at: peter@phphoto.net

AND I also recieved an email from Colin Salisbury who is part of The Global Volunteer Network Foundation which has organized the Kenya Urgent Appeal in response to the prolonged drought in Kenya and lack of aid to the country which has as Colin writes,

“made a precarious food situation worse; crops have withered, wells have dried-up, and livestock herds have been depleted.”

The Kenyan government has declared the drought a national disaster and called for international humanitarian aid to help feed the 2.5 million people most affected by the drought…

if donating or volunteering in this situation intrigues you at all check out their website: http://www.gvnfoundation.org

let me know what you think….